


The Civilian Who Loves Me

by solrosan



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M, Merlin is wise, Relationship Problems, helpful friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22132630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solrosan/pseuds/solrosan
Summary: It's not easy living with a civilian, ask Eggsy. He knows all too well how it feels having to go home to a partner time and time again and try to come up with new believable, reasons why a tailor has to leave the country on two hours notice.Luckily, Merlin knows it's not a walk in the park to live with a Kingsman agent either, and he has ideas on how to help out.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin, Jamal/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 83
Collections: 2019 Kingsman Stocking Stuffers





	The Civilian Who Loves Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thenerdyindividual](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenerdyindividual/gifts).



> When I saw that you had listed Jamal/Eggsy under your likes I felt like I had to write something! 
> 
> I hope you like it :)
> 
> * * *
> 
> In my head, [Cliché?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18169178) is their background story for this fic, but it doesn't have to be.
> 
> * * *

“Where’s your head at, lad?”

Eggsy looked up to find Merlin standing next to the table in the study where he had set up camp to prepare for his next mission. Sudan. He had never done a mission where he’d been the ethnic minority and he’d be lying if he’d say he wasn’t… anxious? concerned? unsure? uncomfortable after having to admit all the above to himself? 

“What?” he asked.

“You seem a bit unfocused.”

“Wha-- hm? No, I’m… tired, I suppose. With Crimea and Belfast and now Khartoum… Been a lot.” Then he added in a haste, “Not complaining or anything. Just… saying.”

“You sure?”

Eggsy gave him a reassuring smile. “Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

Merlin frowned, but let it go and left Eggsy alone.

Eggsy sighed, rubbing his face with both hands and turned back to intelligence report. He was tired, no doubt about it, but Merlin wasn’t wrong. He had barely listened after Merlin had told him he was going to Sudan because it meant he’d had to go home and lie again. There were only so many times he could convince Jamal he’d got a last-minute spot at a fabric convention or whatever.

He and Jamal had been off-and-on for for most of their late teens, never really wanting to officially call each other “boyfriends” but at the same time not been able to stay away either. After V-day and all the shit that followed, Eggsy had realised that life was too short. He had kissed Jamal in a pub, in front of most of their mates, and so the best eight months of Eggsy’s life had begun. If moving in together after three months had seemed a bit early, then, well… Life was too fucking short to think about things like that too.

Eggsy had started to realise why so few of the other agents had families, though. 

He sighed and tried to get the readings he needed done so he could go home and tell some story about a two weeks course on how to make the perfect pocket square.

* * *

Eggsy and Jamal were cuddled up on the sofa, J.B. at their feet, watching _Strictly Come Dancing_. It was their thing. It was what had been on in the background the first time they had drunkenly made out on Jamal’s dad’s sofa.

Jamal called it the gayest thing they did outside the bedroom. When Eggsy heard him say that, he often reminded him that they did those other things outside the bedroom too. Most of the times it made Jamal smile.

Eggsy sighed when he got the sixth text message in under three minutes and reached for his mobile on the table. Jamal moved to accommodate him, but settled back once Eggsy leaned back again. The seventh text came in before Eggsy had unlocked the phone.

There were two messages from Harry, five from Merlin. Eggsy’s heart sank. 

“The fuck?” Jamal muttered. “Who died?”

“Xu Caihou,” said Eggsy, as he skimmed through what Merlin had sent about the former Chinese general’s death.

“Who?”

“No one’s dead,” Eggsy mumbled.

Jamal contorted his head so that he could look at Eggsy’s face. “Then what’s so important?”

On instinct, Eggsy made sure to turn his phone away, but he kept on reading, mumbling something barely comprehensible about work, and got up.

Jamal sighed. “It’s Saturday. It’s Saturday _evening!_ Come on.”

“I just gotta call and see what they want,” said Eggsy. “Won’t be long. Have you seen my glasses?”

“You’re making a phone call.”

Eggsy sighed and finally looked at Jamal. 

“You know how Harry is,” he said, ignoring his comment. They’d had the ‘why do you even use glasses, you don’t need them’-conversation before. Many times. “And it’s only gonna take like five minutes.”

“No, I don’t know. Haven’t had the pleasure of meeting the wanker who thinks your his fucking lackey yet.”

Eggsy left the room, rolling his eyes. He wasn’t sure if he wished Jamal saw it or not, but he didn’t have time to drag this into an argument about Harry. Again.

“At least bring more beer when you come back!” Jamal yelled after him. 

And that Eggsy managed to do, because he didn’t have to go into the office tonight. It felt like a small peace offering. Before they went to sleep, Eggsy also made damn sure that watching telly wasn’t the gayest thing they’d done that evening. 

Twice.

* * *

Eggsy was almost out the shop door when Merlin called him back using his code name, which was never a good thing. Eggsy cursed internally, quickly schooling his face before turning around. 

“Yeah?” 

“Got a moment?”

No, he didn’t. The latest mission in Moscow had run long -- only one day, but still one day -- and he really wasn’t Jamal’s favourite person right now. Coming home late when they were going over to Brandon’s to watch the game was not an option and he was already--

“Sure.” Eggsy frowned. “Something wrong with the report? I handed it to Tina this morning.”

“She hasn’t complained yet, so I’m sure it’s fine,” Merlin said. “We can talk in the cutting room.”

Eggsy followed Merlin to one of the back rooms of the tailor shop. His eyes drifted to the clock on the wall as soon as he stepped inside. Depending on how long this would take, he could still make it if he didn’t change his clothes. Football was football, even if you wore a bulletproof suit.

“What’s--”

“How are you?”

Eggsy blinked. “Fine?”

“You sure?”

“Yep, I’m-- Yeah.”

“What happened in Moscow?”

“I had to wait for the Duma to assemble, it was a safety precausation. It’s in the report. Read it.”

“I will, but I meant the incident with the car. I’m guessing that isn’t in the report.”

Eggsy pressed his lips together and looked away, shaking his head again. He had left out the part about how he had broken every speed limit on his way to the airport to make sure he didn’t miss the flight. The silence stretched. Eggsy’s eyes went to the clock again. The game started in an hour and ten minutes.

“Listen, no one died, I’m sorry about the tickets, it won’t happen again,” he said. “But I, I need to go, yeah? Text me if Tina needs something for the report.”

Merlin nodded. “Alright. Off you go.”

Eggsy left. He hurried out of the shop and jumped into the cab that was waiting outside. On the way home he sent a long apology to Jamal about probably being late. Again.

* * *

”Are you fucking serious?”

Eggsy didn’t know what to say. He nodded. Yes, he was serious, he needed to go to Naples to talk to a supplier first thing tomorrow -- or he needed to go to Bergen to stop a maniac from successfully mutate the smallpox virus, but he couldn’t very well tell Jamal that.

”Are you _fucking_ serious?” Jamal asked again. ”We’re going to Kareem tomorrow!”

”I know, I’m so sorry…”

”Eggsy…”

”I’m sorry.”

”Did you tell them that? Did--”

”It wouldn’t matter.”

”Did you even try?”

”Yes,” said Eggsy. It was only half-true, he had asked once if it was possible for someone else to take the mission but not insisting on it. ”I’m really sorry.”

They were invited to Jamal’s brother tomorrow, the first time they had been invited as a couple. It was huge and they had both been excited and nervous about it for weeks. The problem was that if Eggsy didn’t go to Norway, there was a fairly big risk that there wouldn’t be an opportunity for a second invite. 

Jamal shook his head. ”Fuck you.”

He left the room, and the flat. When Eggsy left for Bergen the next morning, Jamal hadn’t come home yet.

* * *

Eggsy hung up the phone and stared out the window. It was raining, which seemed only fitting. The view overlooking the great lawn of the Kingsman mansion had filled him with such excitement and pride when he first got here -- not to mention when he had become an actual knight -- but now it felt like an never ending sea of broken promises.

He should have waited to have this conversation until he got home, but it was easier to do over the phone and when it came to this, the brave spy was nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t even cancelled this time, just rescheduled -- there was a difference! Even if it was clear that Jamal didn’t see it… -- but Jamal’s resigned disappointment was much harder to deal with than his anger. When he yelled, Eggsy could yell back. 

That was easier.

Somehow.

“How are things at home?” said Merlin. When Eggsy looked at him, startled, he added, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing.”

“Sure you could’ve,” Eggsy muttered, turning back to the window again. He wanted to tell Merlin to piss the fuck off and mind his own business, but the pain in Jamal’s voice still echoed in his ears and he couldn’t muster up enough annoyance to do so.

“He thinks I’m stepping out on him,” he mumbled instead. “Can’t blame him. I’d have thought the same.”

“I’m sorry, lad.”

“Not your fault, is it?”

“Well…”

“It’s fine, really,” said Eggsy with a sigh and met Merlin’s eyes. “He just needs-- We-- It’ll be fine.”

“If there’s anything I can do to help…”

“Yeah, well…” Eggsy went for a smile. “If you can make sure no one tries to blow up the world on May 17th every year, that’d be aces.”

“Anniversary?”

“His birthday.”

“I’ll do my best, and listen, you can always ask if you need a week or two off. It is possible to work around things from time to time. You shouldn’t have to--”

“It’s fine, guv, honest,” Eggsy interrupted to end this conversation. “We just need to-- _I_ need to figure this out.”

“If you say so.”

“I do, but you know, thank you. It… yeah.”

“Any time, lad.” Merlin patted him once on the shoulder and walked away.

Eggsy turned to look out the window once more. He really did need to figure this out somehow.

* * *

Harry had brought work with him to bed. Hamish hated when he did that. It was fine bringing it home (he was guilty of that as well, especially when they were recruiting new agents), but walking into the bedroom after a long day and finding papers spread out everywhere wasn’t okay.

Annoyed he snagged his pillow to go to the guest bedroom instead. Harry sighed and rolled his eye.

“Really?” he asked.

“I’ve told you, I’m not going to bed with Arthur.”

“Why not? I’ve been sleeping next to Merlin for over a decade.”

“No, you’ve been sleeping next to _me._ ”

“What’s the difference?”

Now it was Hamish who rolled his eyes and then he left the room. He threw the pillow on the guest bed and pulled up the covers before starting to get undressed. He was about to get in when Harry came.

“Are you really this childish?” he asked. “Come back to bed.”

“Have you cleared away work?”

“Why is this so important to you?”

“I take that as a ‘no,’” Hamish muttered. “Good night, Arthur.”

“For the love of--” Harry closed the door a little harder than he had too. Hamish glared at the door for a moment before getting into bed. He turned off the bedside lamp, muttering about stubborn agents who thought they always knew best. 

It had always been this way. The thing he and Harry fought most about was work. When Hamish had been Harry’s operative handler it had been protocol, when he had been promoted to Merlin it had been work hours. Recently, with Harry becoming Arthur, it seemed to be the divide between their work life and their private life.

As bad at it had been sometimes during the years, when they had carried their frustrations and irritations back and forth between their home and the shop, at least all of their arguments had been based in honesty. They had never, as far as Hamish could recall, fought over a lie and that was worth a lot. Just look at Eggsy… No, if he and Harry ever went their separate ways it would be with all the cards on the table and no designed misunderstandings. Even if it didn’t feel like it right now, he was lucky to have Harry work at Kingsman too.

An idea struck him. He got out of bed without turning on the light and walked across the hall to the master bedroom. Harry was still sitting there, reading, with papers spread out everywhere.

“Are you coming to apologise?” he asked without looking up. 

“In your dreams,” said Hamish, forcefully removing some of the papers -- to Harry’s dismay -- and sitting down at the edge of the bed. “I had a talk with Eggsy today.”

Harry looked surprised at the sudden change of topic.

“He has problems at home. Has he talked to you about it?”

Harry shook his head. “There’s been a lot lately.” He waved at all the papers. “Is it something with Dean or his mum or...?”

“No, it’s Jamal. He thinks Eggsy’s cheating on him.”

Harry made a small face and finally put down the papers he was holding. “For all his skills as an agent, Eggsy is a terrible liar sometimes.”

“Aye, but we’re not making it easy for him.” Hamish sighed. “You think we’d ever made it if one of us hadn’t worked for Kingsman?”

“I don’t think we’d even met if it wasn’t for Kingsman, but I think I see your point,” Harry said, frowning. “Lots of people have long term partners outside of the agency though.”

“How many of those are field agents?”

Harry sighed. “Right.”

“His focus is slipping. He hasn’t made a mistake yet, but it’s bound to happen and depending on where and when…”

“Not that I don’t understand the problem, but why are you telling me this at--” Harry glanced at the alarm clock “--10:30 at night?”

“Because it’s the only time you listen?”

Harry gave him a dark glare.

“I think we should offer Jamal a job. The lad’s a nurse and Sofia’s always complaining that she needs more hands.”

“That reeks of nepotism.”

“Doesn’t all of Kingsman?”

Harry fought very hard to not smile. 

“I’ll look over his credentials and talk to Sofia,” he said, “but even if she says yes it doesn’t necessarily fix things.”

“I know, living with a field agent is the worst,” said Hamish. “But at least you’ve never had to hide anything from me.”

“It’s not a walk in the park to live with a handler either, thank you very much.”

“I’ll have you know I’m a fucking delight compared to you,” said Hamish, giving him a kiss before he had a chance to contradict that statement. “Good night, Harry.”

“You’re still going back to the guest room?”

“Aye,” said Hamish. “Breakfast at 6.”

* * *

Eggsy knocked on Merlin’s open door. “You wanted to see me?”

“Aye, come in and close the door,” said Merlin, waving him inside from behind his desk. 

Eggsy was fresh from the shower, his hair still damp, having spent most of the morning on the matt with Roxy. His plans for the rest of the day consisted of lunch with Percival and then cramming Russian vocab until it was time to go home and fall asleep on the sofa watching _The Tudors_ \-- Jamal worked the night shift, so he could watch whatever he wanted.

He had a creeping suspicion his plans would be shattered.

“I’ve talked to Arthur about your situation at home,” said Merlin, folding his hands on his desk.

Eggsy sat up a little straighter, not in the least bit comfortable with his friends and superiors having discussed his personal life. “You talked to Harry about Jamal?”

“I’ve talked to Arthur,” Merlin said again. “I’m sorry if you feel I was out of line, but part of my job is making sure you’re fit to do yours and lately you--”

“That’s not fair,” said Eggsy. “I’ve not messed up a single time. Not even Moscow. I _had_ to wait another day!”

Merlin didn’t move a muscle, waiting to see if Eggsy had anything more to say before continuing, “You’ve not been at the top of your game lately. You’ve been distracted -- don’t argue, it’s understandable given the circumstances. It’s also only a matter of time before you put yourself or Kingsman at unnecessary risk.”

Eggsy went cold. “You’re benching me.”

It wasn’t a question, yet Merlin nodded to confirm.

“For the time being, yes,” he said, “but we’d also like to offer Jamal to come and work here as a nurse.”

Eggsy blinked. “Um…”

“We’ve looked at his credentials and we think he’d be a good fit. The pay would be better, probably the hours too, but most importantly, it would release you from the confidentiality agreement to keep Kingsman from him. Standard confidentiality would still apply, the missions would be run as need-to-know as usual, but he’d know when you’re actually in the field. And, more importantly perhaps, he’d know what you actually do for a living and why you can’t be home for dinner every night.”

“That… You can do that? Just like that, offer him a job?”

“You’re one of our greatest assets -- and as I said, we’re responsible for your safety when we send you out in the field -- there are very few things we wouldn’t do for you.”

”What?” Eggsy breathed out the word.

”Don’t tell Arthur, but we’re nothing without our agents.”

Eggsy smiled weakly, not completely sure that Merlin wasn’t taking the piss. 

“So what do you say, do you think he’d be interested?” asked Merlin.

“I don’t… Merlin, this… Me and Jamal, we-- we’ve been together less than a year. It’s...”

“If you don’t want him to work here, we’re not going to give him the offer.”

“No, I mean… what if we break up?”

“If he takes the job and you break up, then you both have to be adults about it. We don’t sack good people for having had sex with an agent. If we did, no one would be able to work here.”

Eggsy ran both hands through his hair. He didn’t know what was up or down right now. On one hand, having Jamal working at Kingsman would be perfect. He wouldn’t have to lie anymore, he could actually talk to him about how his day had been, he’d know that if something happened to him in the field, Jamal would not be left wondering what happened. It would be a weight off his shoulders, for sure. 

On the other hand, they were not in a good place right now and even though they had known each other most of their lives, they had only been a couple for a few months. Revealing Kingsman to Jamal felt like it was of the same magnitude as proposing and he really wasn’t ready for that. 

“Can I think about it?”

Merlin nodded, “Of course. Let me know what you decide.”

Eggsy nodded too. He had been right, this truly ruined his plans. There was no way in Hell he’d be able to study Russian today.

* * *

Eggsy got home earlier than usual. 

After having decided that he wanted Jamal to come and work at Kingsman Merlin and Harry had insisted he’d leave the mansion right away so that he’d be back before Jamal’s shift started. Eggsy hadn’t planned on doing this tonight, but sometimes there was no arguing with those two.

He had talked it over with Percival during lunch (he strongly suspected Percival was the reason behind Merlin’s comment about not firing people who had slept with agents). And then at length with Harry (not Arthur, Eggsy had been very clear that he didn’t want to talk to his boss about this) and he was almost sure this was the right thing. He’d not been able to shake the proposal-ly feeling of it all, though.

“Um. Hi,” Eggsy said, lingering in the door to the bedroom. Jamal was getting dressed to head to work. He looked surprised to see him and paused for a moment before finishing zipping up his hoodie. 

“You’re early. Something happened?”

“No. Yeah, well. Sort of.” Eggsy took a deep breath. “Can we talk?”

Jamal’s entire posture changed. His shoulders dropped and he straightened up a little. The frown disappeared and his face went blank. 

“Sure,” he said, sinking down on Eggsy’s side of the unmade bed. 

Eggsy stayed by the door, still hesitating, still not sure. He couldn’t take this back now though, that much was sure. 

“I’m not cheating on you,” he said after another deep breath, “but I haven’t been honest with you.”

“Okay…?”

Eggsy wet his lips, looking down at his shoes. His shoes which contained daggers dipped in neurotoxins. 

_”Go on, lad,”_ came Merlin’s voice in his ear. _”If you don’t want to go with Harry’s idea and take him on a tour ‘round the place.”_

Eggsy stepped inside the bedroom and closed the door behind him. It was ridiculous, since the only other living soul in the house was J.B. who a) couldn’t understand what he was about to say and b) knew all of it already.

“Eggsy, you’re freaking me out,” said Jamal. 

“Sorry,” Eggsy mumbled, meeting Jamal’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m not a tailor. I’m a-- I’m a spy. And--”

“Wha-- wait, what?”

Eggsy sat down next to Jamal on the bed, a half-embarrassed smile on his lips, because he knew how crazy that sounded. 

“I’m a secret agent. I… um… you know Harry?”

“Mhm.”

“He… when he bailed me out that time, he… well, he _did_ offer me a job at Kingsman. But not as a tailor.”

“You’re telling me that posh tosser’s some kind of Mi6 recruiter or something?”’

“Yeah.”

“Bloody…”

Jamal stared at him, his mouth slightly opened. Eggsy could feel the way he looked at him changed and he wasn’t sure he liked it. Mostly because Jamal’s eyes were so filled with disbelief. 

“The tailor shop’s just a front,” Eggsy went on. “The real Kingsman is… is a spy agency.”

Jamal shook his head. “Tell me his name.”

“What?”

“Or hers. Just tell me and we’ll… I don’t know. Just. Stop lying.”

“I’m not, I… Babe, I ain’t lying,” Eggsy stuttered. He took Jamal’s hand and Jamal squeezed it hard. “I know it sounds fucking mental, but I ain’t lying, I swear. And I ain’t cheating on you.”

“Then you need to give me something better than this.”

“I’m trying, yeah?” said Eggsy with a weak smile. “Listen. I know this sounds mad and I know I’ve been a twat, but… but I couldn’t tell you.”

“But now you can?”

Eggsy nodded. “Yeah, because, um, they want to hire you.”

“As a spy?”

“As a nurse. You’d get to pick a speciality and study while you work and--“

“You’re fucking unbelievable.”

Jamal pulled his hand from Eggsy’s. It stung worse than the words.

“You really think all your shitty lies will be okay if you cover them up with an even worse one?”

“I ain’t lying. Not this time.”

“Just all the other times. Why the fuck should I believe this one? Tell me that.”

Eggsy swallowed. He didn’t know where to look or what to say. 

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. 

“I need to get to work,” muttered Jamal and stood up. Eggsy didn’t look at him, he looked at the wall opposite the door so he wouldn’t have to see him leave. Instead he heard him open the door and disappear. 

_”That went well.”_

“Oh, shut up,” muttered Eggsy, tearing off his glasses. He was in no mood to talk to Merlin right now.

* * *

Eggsy was on his fifth cup of coffee when Jamal came home from work at 8 in the morning. He had gone to bed, putting the alarm at 06:00 so he’d be up when Jamal got back, but he hadn’t been able to fall asleep. 

He got up from the table when he heard the front door unlock. The sheer relief that Jamal came back was overwhelming. Sure, this was where he lived and all his things were here, but he came back. He hadn’t called up Ryan to crash on his sofa or asked Brandon if he could stay in his guest room or something.

At least not yet.

Eggsy watched him from the door between the kitchen and the hallway, unsure if he should approach. 

“Hi,” he said.

Jamal gave him a weak smile. “Morning.”

“Want breakfast?”

“Sure.”

Eggsy turned back into the kitchen and started to take out things from the fridge. Butter. Cheese. Marmalade. He sniffed the milk once before putting it on the table. 

As he popped some toast in the toaster, Jamal connected his phone to the speaker and started to play music. It was nice to have something fill the silence.

“Coffee’s still hot if you…” Eggsy said, pointing vaguely in the direction of the coffee maker.

“Mm. You want more?”

“Nah.” Eggsy held out his hand to show how it trembled. “Had enough, I think.”

“Damn,” muttered Jamal. “How many have you had?”

“Five? Six?”

Jamal shook his head, taking down a mug and poured coffee to himself. Eggsy sat down when the toasts were done. He didn’t have any, because his stomach was not on his side right now after all the caffeine. 

Jamal ate in silence. Eggsy didn’t know what to say either, but when Jamal got up he had to ask.

“Did we break up?”

Jamal put his plate and mug back on the table. “I don’t know, did we?”

“I don’t want to… I, I don’t want to.” Eggsy took a deep breath. “Do you?”

“I don’t know.”

A lump started to form in Eggsy’s throat, his eyes burned. He nodded, he understood. 

“Gimme one last chance?” Eggsy asked, begged. “Please? Next day off, come to Kingsman with me. Let me show you I’m telling the truth.”

Jamal nodded. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Eggsy breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

Jamal smiled, if barely. “Let’s get you to bed, you’re a bloody mess.”

Eggsy nodded as he got up, he couldn’t argue with that.

* * *

“Do I need to wear a suit or something?” Jamal asked, looking at the content of his closet. 

They were going to Kingsman today. It was four days since Eggsy had told Jamal he was a spy, and even if Jamal had made it clear that agreeing to this didn’t mean he believed Eggsy, Eggsy was still excited. And nervous. He had probably never been this nervous about anything in his life. All missions included.

“Nah,” said Eggsy, pulling a black polo shirt of his head. “Why’d you think that?”

”You always do.” Jamal gave Eggsy a look over his shoulder. ”Well, usually.”

”Just take whatever’s clean.”

“Wanna show off your ‘bit of rough’ do you?”

“My bit of what? Seriously?”

Jamal shrugged. ”Sort of, yeah. It’s… When you go there, you dress different, you talk different… and now you’re gonna show me off to your new, posh friends.”

“That ain’t-- No, I’m showing _you_ Kingsman, not the other way around.” He stepped a little closer, putting his hands on Jamal’s hips. “Not that you ain’t worth showing off -- ‘specially in that tee -- but I ain’t gonna parade you around like a chihuahua in a raincoat or whatever.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Eggsy held his gaze. “We okay? Ish?”

“Ish.”

“Good.”

Eggsy really wanted to give him a quick kiss, but he wasn’t sure that would be appreciated so he settled for a smile. 

They finished getting dressed, Eggsy making a point of taking a bomber jacket, jeans and a cap (the one with daisies that everyone but him hated), and took the Kingsman cab to the shop. Jamal didn’t say much.

When they got out of the cab, Eggsy very demonstratively took Jamal’s hand. The familiar little bell pinged as they stepped inside the shop. Dagonet looked up from what he was reading behind the counter. 

“Mr Unwin,” he said, nodding once. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” said Eggsy, smiling. “Dagonet, this is Jamal, taking him to see Arthur.”

Dagonet held up a Post-It, waving it a little. “All cleared, Mr Unwin.”

Eggsy took the Post-It on which it said “Galahad + 1”. For a high-tech spy organisation they were still very analogue in some regards. He showed Jamal to the dressing room. Jamal gave him a strange look.

“What are--” he started but, but before he had a chance to finish, Eggsy had already put his hand on the mirror and the floor began to sink. “What the _fuck_?”

Eggsy watched him with a smile. When they stepped out of the dressing room, the capsule was waiting for them to take them out to the mansion. Eggsy had a hard knot in his stomach by now, but he was amused by the look on Jamal’s face. He wondered if he really had looked quite this blown away two years ago.

“This how you get to work every day?” Jamal asked when the capsule had started moving. 

Eggsy nodded. “Most days when I’m in London. Or I’ll be at the shop, we have most meetings there and I have an office upstairs.”

Jamal shook his head and turned to look out the window, through which he only saw his own reflection as they headed for the English countryside. Eggsy did his best to not stare at him the entire way there, but it was hard and the silence was terrible.

The lift up to ground level (and the mansion) was at the end of the room they arrived at. When they got out of the capsule, Eggsy had the urge to take Jamal to at least see the hangar, but he thought better of it. Jamal was a civilian, after all, official post-it from Arthur or not.

As they waited for the lift, Jamal searched for Eggsy’s hand. It was unexpected, but Eggsy took it, twining their fingers together. A warmth spread in his chest and a smile on his lips. The main goal of today wasn’t to show off his boyfriend, but at part of him wanted to do it anyway, because no one had ever loved him the way Jamal did -- or had done, at least. So sue him for being a tiny bit proud of that.

It threw him a little seeing his own reflection as he stepped into the lift, his posture didn’t match his clothes. He held himself as if he was wearing the suit he usually wore here. He put that out of his mind and looked at Jamal instead. 

“Don’t worry,” he said, knowing full well that he was probably far more nervous, “it’ll be fine.”

Jamal glanced at him. “Mm, sure.”

The lift stopped with a ding and the doors opened up to let them step into the foyer. Jamal’s eyes grew wide again as he looked around the 18th century room and he tried to take it all in as they walked through the rooms and up the stairs to Harry’s office.

“This where you was most of last year?” asked Jamal. “No wonder you got posh.”

“I’m not-- I ain’t-- I--“ Eggsy sighed. “Yeah, I was here. The dorms are at the same level we arrived at. Shooting range, mission control, that sort of thing too. Medical.”

The door to Harry’s office was opened, but Eggsy still knocked when they got there. “Can we come in?”

Harry looked up from his computer. He frowned briefly at the sight of Eggsy’s clothes, but it was quickly replaced with a polite smile.

“Of course,” he said, getting up. He walked around the desk, buttoning his jacket. “Come in.”

“Harry, this is Jamal Bassey,” said Eggsy, letting go of Jamal’s hand so that Jamal could take Harry’s as he extended his. “Jamal, this is Harry Hart.”

“Pleasure,” Harry said, nodding once.

“Nice to meet you, Mr Hart,” said Jamal.

“I assume Eggsy has explained why we wanted to meet with you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. I want Dr Burrell to be here for the interview, but she’s delayed down at the clinic.”

Eggsy frowned.

Harry noticed and shook his head. “Nothing to worry about, paperwork. All my fault, I assure you. Take a tour of the place, or at least a cup of tea in the drawing room or something.”

“You sure?”

“Isn’t that what I’ve been telling you to do from the start?”

Eggsy narrowed his eyes. Under other circumstance, Harry would have winked at the end of that sentence and he was grateful that he didn’t.

“Where are your glasses?” Harry asked.

Eggsy patted the left side of his chest to indicate the inner pocket of the bomber jacket.

“Good, put them on. I’ll call you when Dr Burrell is done.”

They left Harry’s office, and when Eggsy was sure they were out of earshot, he stage whispered, “So that’s the wanker.”

“Didn’t you say we was gonna to meet someone called Arthur?” 

“Oh, um, yeah.” Eggsy smiled awkwardly, feeling almost embarrassed. “That’s Arthur. Arthur’s his title. Or, you know, a code name.”

“You got one?”

“Galahad. We’re, er, knights around the round table.”

That sounded even worse to say out loud than admitting to having a code name to start with.

Jamal snorted, unable to contain a short laughter. “For real?”

Eggsy’s smile became less forced, he hadn’t heard Jamal laugh for a long time.

“For real. Except our table ain’t round.” 

Eggsy decided to start the tour above ground, since they were due back in Harry’s office in a bit, even if the more obvious ‘this is actually a spy organisation, I’m telling the truth’-things were below. It felt unbelievably strange to have Jamal here, to show him all of this.

He showed him library where he studied, the gymnasium where he more often than not got his arse handed to him by older agents, the props and costumes wing where you could find anything you needed for a mission that wasn’t designed by Merlin… 

Jamal didn’t say much. He walked around with his arms crossed, afraid of accidentally touching something, and Eggsy wasn’t sure he even listened half the time. He didn’t even comment on the fact that Eggsy had put on his glasses almost as soon as they’d left Harry’s office.

They were about to head out to the kennel when Harry sent a message across Eggsy’s glasses that they were ready for them. Jamal didn’t question how Eggsy knew it was time to go back.

“Good luck,” said Eggsy when they parted outside Harry’s office. Jamal smiled, but without any of his usual confidence. 

Harry gave Eggsy what was probably supposed to be an encouraging look before telling him to make himself useful for an hour and closing the door. Eggsy tried to tap into Harry’s glasses, but he was blocked. Probably just as well.

Eggsy didn’t make himself useful. He spent about forty minutes annoying Percival who was preparing for a mission in India and the following twenty standing outside Harry’s office. Almost on the dot 60 minutes after Harry had closed the door, he opened it again.

“Eggsy, what a surprise,” he said in the driest tone of voice he could muster, and stepped aside to let him in. The room was empty.

Eggsy frowned. “Where’s--”

“Down at Medical. Dr Burrell is showing him around.”

“So he’s got it?” asked Eggsy, trying to not smile. 

“This was mostly a formality,” Harry admitted, “but he hasn’t accepted yet.”

“Oh…”

“It’s a good thing. We want our medical staff to be a little more level headed than our agents.”

“Mmm…”

Harry watched him in silence, forcing Eggsy to look away, then he said, “He seems intelligent and capable, and he’s far more polite than you were when I first brought you here.”

Eggsy nodded. “He’s the best.”

“It’s about time you introduced us.”

Eggsy blinked, looking back at Harry. That wasn’t what he had expected.

“Is there a reason you haven’t done so before?” Harry asked.

“You mean other than not being allowed to talk about this?” asked Eggsy and waved around the room.

“Yes.”

Eggsy felt a blush creeping over his neck. “No.”

“Alright,” said Harry after a moment’s pause. “If there had been a reason though, and if that reason had been anything that I -- or anyone else here -- might have said or implied--”

“No, no. That’s not--”

“I’m saying ‘if,’” Harry interrupted Eggsy’s stuttered response. “ _If_ we’ve said or done something that’s made you think we’d stick up our noses or not make him feel welcome, then I deeply apologise.”

Eggsy swallowed, hoping his cheeks weren’t as burning red as they felt, and nodded. He wanted to protest again, but the words were stuck and all he could do was clear his throat. He knew how much the world he came from collided with the world he had been adopted by, and a part of him worked very hard to keep them separated. Right now, under Harry’s watching eye, he wasn’t completely sure why. 

He took a deep breath. “Thanks.”

“And if we cross a line, you’re within your right to tell us to get our shit together. You’re also within your right to ask for help. We picked you -- _I_ picked you. You have nothing to prove.”

“It’s fine. It is.”

“Good, but I wanted to tell you.”

“Thank you.”

Harry smiled. “What do you say, should we try to find Jamal and Dr Burrell?”

They made their way to medical, Harry filling what could have been an awkward silence with complaints about paperwork (and Merlin’s house rules about where he was allowed to do said paperwork). Dr Burrell was wrapping up the tour as they came down. Jamal looked overwhelmed but excited, Eggsy remembered that feeling all too well. They both shook hands with Dr Burrell and Harry, and Jamal promised them a reply by the end of the week.

Eggsy cleared his throat a little when the capsule had closed behind them and they started their journey back to London. ”So…”

”Yeah.”

Eggsy waited for something more, anything really, but Jamal just sat there watching him. It made Eggsy… perhaps not uneasy, but definitely nervous. 

”You’re a spy,” Jamal finally said. ”An actual spy.”

Eggsy nodded.

”I don’t-- It--” Jamal laughed helplessly. ”You used to threw Kinder Egg bombs on Mrs Johnson’s car and play drums on my dad’s pots. And you needed me to kill the spiders.”

”And I still need you to do that,” said Eggsy with half a smile. ”I’m the same. Nothing’s changed.”

”No. That's what you say when people have a fit that you’re gay, not when you’ve been lying for months about what it is you do every day.”

”I couldn’t tell you--”

”I get that now. Sort of. But it doesn’t change the fact that you lied.”

”I’m sorry.”

”I’m not mad. I think.”

”Yeah?”

Jamal nodded. “So, what happened to the wanker’s eye?”

“He was, er, shot,” said Eggsy, a bit caught off guard by the sudden question before realising that he could actually tell the truth now. “Shortly before V-day.”

“And lived?”

Eggsy smiled weakly. “We have a great medical team:”

“And now they want me because I fuck you?”

“That’s not--”

“Yes, it is. The wanker told me.”

“Harry said that?”

Jamal’s lips twisted into a smile. “Might have phrased it differently.”

“He’s… That’s not--”

“It’s fine. Honesty’s nice for a change.”

“Mm.” Eggsy leaned back in the seat, trying to not let that comment get to him. “What do you say, we stop by Chutney on the way home and get dinner?”

Jamal nodded once, tipping his head back with the hint of a smile. “Naan sounds good. This has been a weird day.”

* * *

They bought too much food, they always did, but that way Jamal got lunch boxes for the rest of the week. In theory, they made them for Eggsy too, but they both knew that he never brought them to work. They ate in the kitchen, not talking much, but the silence was comfortable for the first time in days.

”Do you want me to take the job?” Jamal asked suddenly, tearing a naan in half and giving a piece to Eggsy. 

It was a loaded question, Eggsy could feel it. He took the bread.

“They wouldn’t have offered it to you if I didn’t,” he said slowly. “So, yeah, I do.”

Jamal nodded. ”What happens if I don’t?”

Eggsy blinked. He honestly didn’t know the answer to that. He had just assumed he’d take it.

”The wanker gonna order you to kill me or something?”

”No, we use amnesia darts,” said Eggsy, dipping his naan in some curry. Jamal seemed to think he was joking, because he laughed. It made Eggsy smile, Jamal’s laugh always made him smile. ”But I think you’re fine.”

”And if we break up?”

”Harry didn’t talk to you about that?”

”He did. He was very clear that this ain’t sex slavery.”

”He said what?!”

Jamal laughed again. ”No! Christ, Eggsy. Seriously. You really think His Lordship would say that?”

”He ain’t got that stick quite as far up his arse as you think,” muttered Eggsy. ”So it wouldn’t surprise me.”

”It’s pretty far up there.”

”You won’t get fired if we break up.”

”I know, but what happens if we break up?”

Eggsy shrugged, he didn’t like this topic of conversation at all. ”Suppose I’d have to make sure I don’t get shot and land my arse in Medical.”

”Can’t you try to make sure that doesn’t happen anyway?”

Eggsy smiled. ”Sure.”

He reached over the table for Jamal’s hand and Jamal took it. Jamal smiled too.

”I still can’t believe you’re a spy.”

Eggsy laughed. ”Neither can I.”

* * *

Merlin came down to Medical. Eggsy had just come back from Liverpool covered in blood after a ”lightly stabbing” as he had asked Merlin to note it down in the report. Merlin hadn’t, but the fact Eggsy had been cheerful enough to make bad jokes had put Merlin at ease about the agent’s condition.

He found Eggsy, still fairly covered in blood but sitting on a bunk with his shirt off, and Jamal carefully removing the old dressing that Eggsy had put on the wound in the field.

”You promised you wasn’t gonna get your arse sent here,” muttered Jamal.

”I said I’d do my best to not get shot,” Eggsy said through gritted teeth. ”She came at me with one of those Japanese swords.”

”Katana.”

”Sharp as fuck, it was.”

”My point still stands. You promised!”

Merlin cleared his throat to get their attention. ”Do I need to separate the two of you, gentlemen?”

”No,” they both answered, Eggsy cheerfully looking up at Merlin, and Jamal evenly still focusing on the task at hand.

”I wanted to come down and see how you are.”

”I’m fine,” said Eggsy. ”It’s just a--”

Jamal straightened up and put a gloved finger in Eggsy’s face. ”If you say ’lightly stabbing’ one more fucking time I’m going to kill you.”

Eggsy closed his mouth, clearly trying his best to not grin like an idiot. They kept looking at each other for a moment longer before Jamal lowered his finger and got back to work.

”I’m fine,” Eggsy told Merlin again over Jamal’s shoulder. ”I have the report for Tina by the end of the week.”

”I’ll tell her.”

”Thank--” Eggsy hissed when Jamal did something, having finally been able to remove the entire temporary dressing. Merlin frowned at the sight of the cut. There was nothing light about that at all.

”Damn it, Eggsy,” mumbled Jamal. ”I think I need to ask Dr Burrell to look at this.” He examined the area around the wound with his fingers, making Eggsy suck in air. ”Ain’t those stupid suits of yours supposed to be bulletproof?”

”It was a _sword._ ” 

Merlin was sure he could hear Jamal sighing mentally at Eggsy, and he smiled as he slipped out the door. He was really pleased they had been able to arrange this for Eggsy, but he felt a bit bad for Jamal, because as the lad was quickly learning, living with a field agent really was a pain.


End file.
